Sunday 19 April 2020

Mad Men - Season 5 (2013 Matthew Weiner)

Episode two. 1966: student riots, a nurse killer, a sniper (leading to Targets). Recently married, Megan has made the mistake of throwing Don a surprise birthday party in which she saucily performs a French song, 'Zou Bisou Bisou', originally recorded by Gillian Hills. The next day, Harry is overheard by her making lewd comments about her.

Later, Harry's summoned to Roger's office.

HARRY
(nervously)
You wanted to see me?

ROGER
I did. Come in. Have a seat.

HARRY
No - that's OK.

ROGER
I think you should have a seat.

HARRY
OK.

Sits, anxiously.

ROGER
Now, I think you know that we like to think of this place as a family. And, there are certain ways a family behaves.

HARRY
What did she say? Look, you have to hear my side of it.

ROGER
Your side of what?

HARRY
What?... Nothing.

ROGER
You're always up to something, aren't you Crane?

HARRY
It was an honest mistake, and I consider myself reprimanded.

ROGER
Great. I was thinking Pete could take your office.

HARRY
(thinks he's fired)
Really? Look I will apologise face-to-face, as horrible as that would be, but I think it would be... There's no reason to let me go.

ROGER
You're not getting fired.

HARRY
(exhales with relief)
Oh...

ROGER
What the hell did you do?

HARRY
I made fun of Zou Bisou.

ROGER
So did I.

Both laugh.

ROGER
Is that a crime? No. I've been trying to get Jane to talk to me in that accent. Nothing doing. She doesn't speak French, doesn't like me.

HARRY
I went home afterwards and Jennifer didn't know what was coming, I was so -

ROGER
(interrupts)
I don't wanna hear that.

HARRY
No of course you don't. Why would you?

ROGER
Look - I think you can understand that Pete needs a bigger office. And just between you, me and the window washer, it's been decided that you should trade.

HARRY
Who decided that?

ROGER
I did.

HARRY
I can't do that. And I don't know that I have to do it... Do I?

Roger sighs and stands up and approaches Harry.

ROGER
Harry. I am asking you, as a friend.

HARRY
I appreciate that Roger, I really do, but I need my office.

ROGER
Look, first of all, Pete's office isn't that different.

HARRY
I disagree.

ROGER
Fine. Name the most important person you could bring in to this office.

HARRY
William Paley.

ROGER
OK, so you shouldn't do that. Trust me, network and studio executives want to think you're out there jet-setting, rubbing shoulders with television stars, chorus girls. You should be talking to clients ringside. Or at a three star restaurant. Not coming in to your miserable little office.

HARRY
But I do. I come in here almost every day and Pete's office is a shithole with a support beam.

ROGER
What if I were to make it worth your while.

HARRY
I'm already head of my department.

ROGER
What would be an appropriate bonus?

HARRY
There's no bonuses. We have no money.

ROGER
How much would it take?

Goes for his pocket.

HARRY
Well, first of all, it's more than you would have on you.

ROGER
Really?
(counts it)
There's eleven hundred dollars.



HARRY
Why do you carry so much cash?

ROGER
That's more than a thousand, Harry.

Harry, thinking.

ROGER
That is a month's salary - after tax.

Harry takes the money. But adds -

HARRY
There's no window in there.

ROGER
You could buy yourself a very beautiful picture of something to look at.

Harry stands.

HARRY
Well, OK. But you're gonna owe me.

ROGER
No I'm not! I just gave you a load of money! This is a transaction. If you don't like it, we can have the conversation you thought we were having.

HARRY
So this is every month?

ROGER
Get the hell out of my office!

Weiner is credited as the sole writer on this one.

And - Roger spying Joan "There's my baby!"

They're all horrible, but even Don can't carry off that jacket


Roger and Sally make friends... for a short while
Pete's moved to the country - doesn't look like the giraffes went with him. Roger tries LSD - which he loves - but it causes he and Jane to split up (quite a left field episode - the only thing I remember was that acid scene, Roger's cigarette being smoked in a split second, with which there's a kind of tuba-delivered sound effect).

Don's not reading James Bond, but 'The Fixer' by Bernard Malamud.

Roger: 'For all we know, Jesus was trying to get the loaves and fishes account.'

Lane steals, Pete cheats. Megan acts, Don buys a Jag, Joan prostitutes herself. Peggy quits, Harry meets Krishna, Betty's a bitch. (Nick jots.)


Weiner fell out with AMC, which was why there was such a gap between series. Part of the agreement reached was that season five, six and seven were simultaneously green lit.


Jared Harris and Cristina Hendricks steal the acting honours for me, though John does deliver his lines deliciously.

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