The Teacher (2026)

According to IMDB The Teacher wasn't written by anybody. Maybe Channel 5 has its own Chat GPT now that just churns out this crap. Victoria Hamilton is the teacher who allows herself to be pushed around by super-woke troublemaker Alice Grant (couldn't bear to take a screenshot of her smug face!), leading to blackmail, murder and the inevitable blah blah.

Enjoyably bad in 4 x 45 minutes episodes, until last episode, when I just couldn't wait for it to be over. They must known it's bad?

Olly Rhodes (son), Steve Edge (dad), Shak Benjamin (initially cool classmate), Ellis Jupiter (the persecuted 'they').

He's Just Not That Into You (2009 Ken Kwapis)

Some of the women as as much nitwits as the men.

Great cast though are there one or two stories too many? Ginnifer Goodwin, Kevin Connelly, Bradley Cooper, Scarlett Johansson, Baffleck, Jen, Drew Barrymore, Justin Long, Jennifer Connelly, Kris Kristofferson.

Funnily enough Some Kind of Wonderful  was referenced, and that's also on my hit list.

A Woman of Substance (2026 Katherine Jakeways)

Begins promisingly in 1970s NYC and Brenda Blethyn in the middle of a power struggle with her kids over her company. Then quickly goes back to her young self, Jessica Reynolds (who's fabulous), and her experiences working as a maid in the dreadful Fairley household in Yorkshire, and how she makes good. I assumed the flashback structure was written for the series but actually its derived from the novel, written by Barbara Taylor Bradford.

Reynolds is Irish, and does a good Yorkshire accent. She was in Steven Knight's House of Guinness and Kneecap.

Leanne Best, Ewan Horrocks. Emmet J Scanlan, Lydia Leonard, Niall Wright (the dependable 'Mac'), Mara Huf (the granddaughter), Will Mellor, Rosie Cavaliero.

Tony Slater Ling is on camera on the first three. It totals eight x 45 on Channel 4.

The production designer is Anna Pritchard, art directors Richard Downes, Matthew Hope, Victoria Richards, set decorator Faye Brothers.

Unfortunately the ending is rather fluffed. For example we meet her three other children for the first time and have no information, for example who is the father of two of them? It would have been sensible to just write them out. Then the twist end is actually rather disappointing, after all she's had to overcome; the novel had a more positive conclusion. And where's Mac?

Silent Witness - New Season 20 (2017)

Identity examines the immigrant crisis through the story of a teenager who has lost half her family. An exploitative white Muslim is taking money off immigrants and leaving them to die at the same time, interpreting the Koran rather over-enthusiastically. (Well, I don't know anything, and I think there are probably different versions of the Koran, but I personally think the one most decent Muslims believe in doesn't actually tell you to kill 'non-believers'.)

Meanwhile in a massively stingy irony, a people smuggler who actually tries to help an even younger immigrant is slain by one of her own family. Biblical! Maybe that's what they were going for. 'They'? I mean of course Timothy Prager, who treads delicately through this material (though rather solemnly).

Knew none of the (largely good) cast. Sofia Asir, Gerald Kyd, Nathacha Karam, Elham Ehsas, Billy Cook.

Silent Witness (2016)

Did Police firearms unit cover up a botched killing? (Jean Charles Menezes was 2005.)

Stukie investigates. In Plain Sight, written by Tracey Malone and Matthew Arlidge.

Then, a family is murdered whilst having a picnic. It's another sneaky tale from Ed Westmore, River's Edge. Claire Holman, Nicholas Sidi, Elen Rhys, Sally Carman, Derek Griffiths, Dean Paul Gibson.

A decent enough film. Nikki and Jack in danger.

Mona Lisa Smile (2003 Mike Newell)

1953 Wellesley College. Art teacher Julia Roberts dares to be different and comes up against the Establishment. Written by Lawrence Konner and Mark Rosenthal (The Concierge).

Amazing cast: Kirsten Dunst, Julia Stiles, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Ginnifer Goodwin, Dominic West, John Slattery, Juliet Stevenson, Marcia Gay Harden, Marian Seldes (President). Terrific confrontation scene between Dunst and Gyllenhaal, tender scene between Roberts and Stiles. Having seen these young women develop, I would guess that neither director Newell not editor Mick Audsley had to do much to shape the performances.

The final scene, the girls on bicycles following her car out - is perhaps a shade too far but generally this is really good, though perhaps overlong: for example, Julia's new onerous contract terms are spelled out twice, once in the meeting and again in the letter dictation. Newell and Audsley went on to Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, which Mick worked on for 13 months! I noticed he used the same shots of the church tower and bell at the end as he did at the beginning.

Photographed by Anastas Michos, unfortunately not associated with anything else of note.

Loved the ending compilation of women portrayed in the media in the fifties.

Silent Witness (2016)

Life Licence. Chris Hurford & Tom Butterworth. Lyndsey Marshal is a therapist charged with the rehabilitation of murderers, one of whom is released after serving time for a notorious child murder. When a former jail mate of his is murdered he naturally comes under suspicion. It's like pinning the tail on the donkey - I went through at least three possible murderers before eventually settling on the right one (who's often the least likely). That guy with the chin investigates (Lloyd Owen).

Vigil in the Night (1940 George Stevens)

Carole picked it as it was the meatiest subject matter on offer at RKO, a story about a dedicated nurse and her sister, based on an A.J. Cronin novel (adapted by Fred Guiol, P.J. Wolfson & Rowland Leigh). Carole is fine as usual, but audiences thought it too depressing and it lost money. Seen today it seems slightly creaky and contrived, though holds the attention. Anne Shirley is the errant sister, Brian Aherne the saintly doctor figure, Julien Mitchell the conscience deprived millionaire. Good support from Ethel Griffies as a no-nonsense matron (you know, from The Birds) and a very early appearance from none other than Peter Cushing.

Lombard respected Stevens as technically proficient, having been a cameraman he knew how to use light; the DP is Robert de Grasse. (Stevens shot many short films in the twenties including those of Laurel & Hardy). The music's by Alfred Newman.

Whatever Works (2009 Woody Allen & scr)

 Larry David, Evan Rachel Wood, Patricia Clarkson, Henry Cavil, Ed Begley Jr.

"I saw the abyss!"
"Don't worry - we'll watch something else."

Such great plot turns. It was originally designed to be a play, but he needed exterior scenes, so converted it to a movie and pushed more of the action outside.

It doesn't rain!! 

"I was very, very pleased with my cast. Even the people in the small parts were wonderful. Larry is sensational. In spite of his constantly saying "I can't act, I can't act." Evan Rachel Wood is a miraculous young actress. And Patricia Clarkson is a great actress, so they made it come to life." Woody to Eric Lax. Wood didn't really make a mark, subsequently (I am reminded she was in the later Mildred Pierce) though has more recently found an audience in Westworld.

Nowhere Special (2020 Uberto Pasolini & scr, prod)

Marvellously acted by James Norton, Daniel Lamont and Eileen O'Higgins and very well edited by Masahiro Hirakubo and Saska Simpson.

A film which breaks all the rules: has no bad guy, no love affair, no character arc; yet succeeds beautifully - as such it had to borrow its budget from Romania. Also known as 'Rear Window Cleaner'! (Actually the title is the only thing about the film that is lacking.)

The Devil and Miss Jones (1941 Sam Wood)

Cracking cast: Charles Coburn, Jean Arthur, Robert Cummings, Spring Byington, S.Z Sakall, Edmund Gwenn, William Demarest in seriously well photographed film courtesy Harry Stradling Sr. Wood likes the confinements of the frame.

Written by Norman Krasna. The millionaire's house was a set left over from Citizen Kane.

The Enemy Below (1957, released 1958 Dick Powell)

Yes, the actor from 42nd Street and Murder My Sweet. Wendell Mayes adapted D.A. Rayner's novel and tells of the pursuit of a German submarine by a US destroyer, skippered respectively by a somewhat fed up Curt Jurgens and Robert Mitchum, who respect one another at a distance. Refreshingly the scenes at sea are actually filmed on a destroyer without back projection; lots of long takes give actors the opportunity for... well, acting. Lots of 'give orders twice', 'give orders twice' dialogue.

Slightly swollen though - how many times can you show depth charges blowing up in the water, or a submarine being rocked about. Still, builds to a nice ending.

With David Hedison, Theodore Bikel, Russell Collins, Kurt Kreuger. Photographed by Harold Rossen, scored by Leigh Harline, edited by Stuart Gilmore. 20th Century Fox, CinemaScope.

The original ending was to have been Mitchum trying to save the German from the submarine when the bomb goes off, killing them both and leaving a shot of an empty sea... which would have been fantastic - but of course the studio wouldn't allow it. Cut forward to the seventies where the unhappy ending would have been the only one allowed!

Anything Else (2003 Woody Allen & scr)

"There's an old joke about a prize fighter who's in the ring, and he's getting killed, he's getting his brains beat out, and his mother's in the audience. And she's watching him getting beaten up in the ring, and there's a priest next to her. And she says 'Father. Father. Pray for him.' And the priest says 'I will pray for him. But you know, if he could punch, it would help.' There's more insight in that joke into the what I call the 'giant so what?' than most books on philosophy."

Bridges, by Darius Khondji:

The Queensboro Bridge, I believe

"Have you ever dialled 911? It's like getting a mortgage."

It's great - one of the undersung ones. He couldn't understand why it didn't do better. He liked his long takes - the one with Jason and Christina and Stockard where people keep coming in and out of shot - he would rehearse the scene and the lighting all morning, break for lunch then shoot it all in one go.

Oh yeah - it rains! (Right at the beginning when we first meet Ricci.) Let's see if it rains in Whatever Works, Mighty Aphrodite and Alice next.

Maltin gave it a BOMB rating and called it 'Woody's worst movie'. He can't get them all right.. What is Woody's worst movie? I think I'd have to say Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex.

"I was crazy about Christina, and Jason was adorable, and Stockard Channing is always a really strong actress." Woody to Eric Lax.

Licorice Pizza (2021 Paul Thomas Anderson & scr)

It's a love story, featuring wonderfully 'normal' looking people. Yet somehow it doesn't quite click for me. Maybe it's too rambling and episodic. Maybe despite his entrepreneurial spirit, the Cooper Hoffman character just is too young. Alana Haim is the object of desire. I don't know. I enjoyed it though, particularly the scenes revolving around Jon Peters (Bradley Cooper) and the truck, and Sean Penn's action movie star (with Tom Waits). The scene with Benny Safdie bringing Haim to the restaurant to meet his lover Joseph Cross is pure Altman.

A film like this, you have to mention the production designer - Florencia Martin. (Probably an award winner for the most times we're inside a shop and you can see the name painted on the window backwards.) And the costume designer - Mark Bridges.

Special mention to Milo Herschlag as Hoffman's younger (and perhaps cooler) brother. (His only film.)

Silent Witness Triple Bill (2015-16)

The team tackle East End gangsters Steven Hartley, Beth Goddard (one of those faces you just see on everything) and son James Farrar (who's rather good) in One of Our Own (Tom Butterworth and Chris Hurford / David Drury), which takes its departure point as the death of a good copper. Mark Frost and Elly Fairman (and latterly Steven Pacey) investigate; Jason Watkins appears.

Season 19 kicks off by putting Nikki in danger as an apparent suicide makes her realise she's mis-diagnosed an old case featuring her mentor Georgie Glen. Ed Whitmore writes a thrilling but quite far-fetched story as usual, putting Nikki in prison at one point, then later shot at by a hit man. She does some silly things, doesn't tell the police when she should etc., annoying detective Liza Tarbuck.

Dean Lennox Kelly is the man released from prison, Dean Andrews his angry son. Geraldine Somerville the murderer - oops! I mean wife. After the Fall was again directed by Drury, and photographed by James Friend, later to win Oscar for All Quiet on the Western Front.

But it was the noticeably high contrast photography and skilful designs that caught my attention in the following story, Flight, shot by Steve Lawes, best known for Death Comes to Pemberley and Sherlock. It's about the survivors of a war zone who have become radicalized and plan to do silly things: Abigail Hardingham and Assad Raja (mum is Wanda Opalinska). Graham Mitchell wrote, Richard Senior directed.

Lord of the Flies (2026 Jack Thorne)

Thorne has preserved much of William Golding's story and even the time period, probably a good idea.

The island location is good (Malaysia), the music different (Cristobal Tapia de Veer, The White Lotus), the extremely wide lenses weird (Mark Wolf). Mátyás Fekete / Andonis Trattos edited alternately.

Directed by Marc Munden.

Good cast: with Winston Sawyers (Ralph), Lox Pratt (Jack), David McKenna (Piggy), Ike Talbut (Simon).

Second part, Jack, features a brilliantly handled pig hunt. Third, Simon has a weird red colouring running through, perhaps predicting what will happen at the end. Leading me to wonder if they've all been colour themed.

In the final instalment, Ralph, the veneer of civilisation has crumbled and savagery holds domain. Great flashbacks with Ralph and his dad (Rory Kinnear) and a policeman (Danny Mays) before the climactic arrival of naval officer Tom Goodman-Hill. (Q wanted him to rescue Ralph and leave all the others behind!) Before this there's a sequence with all the kids close up shot by shot looking up - having read the book, I fully expected them to be looking at suddenly arrived officer, but that doesn't happen till later, making me wonder if the scene had been devised that way then moved in the edit.

Striking imagery and good performances anchor arthouse version of bitter and cautionary tale.

That was John Taverner right at the end - 'Funeral Canticle' performed by the Choir of the Academy of Ancient Music, written for his father. Also appears in Tree of Life.

Silent Witness, Season 18 (2015)

Someone's trying to kill Russian oligarch Dragan Micanovic. Abhin Galeya and Amber Rose Revah (Foyle's Way) play entrepreneurial siblings, Cameron Jack is a security guard. Jack gets involved with investigating detective Lauren O'Neill, whose being manipulated by boss Pippa Heywood.

Squaring the Circle was written by Matthew Arlidge. Features crafty murder by fentanyl gas.

"London is open for business" is the ironic last line.

Power: The Downfall of Huw Edwards (2026 Mark Burt, director Michael Samuels)

Yeah - I'm not sure this was a good idea, really - a documentary might have worked better (and I probably wouldn't have watched it). So the main thing going for this is Martin Clunes, who gives a good performance. No, Huw Edwards sounds like not a nice man; but the behaviour of the coerced youth was hardly ideal also (Osian Morgan). It strikes me that the more serious offences of child porn should have been the primary focus, but that's not a compelling enough story. So I'm not sure it quite achieved anything, really.

Gone (2026 George Kay)

Kay is inspired by a true life crime book 'To Hunt a Killer' by ex detective Julie Mackay and Robert Murphy, which I think provides the backstory to this rather different case. So in other words, this is mainly an original story. 

Tough headmaster Michael, David Morrissey (also in Kay's The Long Shadow), finds wife / teacher has disappeared and neither he nor daughter Alana (Emma Appleton) know where she's gone. Detectives Anne (Eve Myles) and Nira (Jennifer Macbeth) investigate and - when a body is found - become family liaison.

Meanwhile Anne is still visiting the mother of a murdered girl from years before (this is the backstory). She's also tentatively renewing a relationship with ex-husband Craig, Peter McDonald, also a detective.

Complications arise when we learn the missing wife has been having an affair with married Stephen, Elliot Cowan, whose son Dylan (Billy Barratt) is the star rugby player; wife is played by Claire Goose.

Directed by Richard Laxton over 6 x 45 minutes for ITV.

There's a real dynamic shift at the end of episode 4, when Anne is getting closer to Michael revealing things about himself but her ex turns up all annoyed she's stood him up. He appears frighteningly aggressive and when Michael tries to ensure Anne is OK Craig attacks him and ends up arresting him. So we've suddenly been shifted from not liking the head teacher at all to finding Anne's ex even worse, making the former sympathetic in contrast.

For me the last two episodes have too much Michael not communicating or over-emoting, but when Anne finds the real culprit, it's handled surprisingly sensitively. Meanwhile the investigation into the old murder is pushed right back leading us to the inevitable Season 2.

Rather too many drone shots for my liking. Find another way to do a transition shot, for Wilder's sake. And plot holes: time of death; keep forgetting suspect has 24hr surveillance.

Framed ties hanging on headmaster's wall?

The usual irritating senior (male) copper is Arthur Hughes, more helpful one is Oscar Batterham; Jodi McKnee good as police interviewer. Staff includes Rupert Evans. 

The League of Gentlemen (1960 Basil Dearden)

Jack Hawkins gathers together an ex-army group who are all pursuing criminal activities in one way or another and need money. They are Nigel Patrick, Dickie Attenborough, Bryan Forbes, Roger Livesey, Kieron Moore, Terence Alexander and Norman Bird (not as I was confusing him with Alec MacGowan from Frenzy, but a TV stalwart). With Robert Coote, Nanette Newman, Melissa Stribling. And a cameo from Oliver Reed as a gay actor!

We spend quite a lot of the time getting the plan agreed and assembled before the exciting robbery itself, which is meticulously executed (and perhaps where The Italian Job's writers borrowed the idea of a car being driven into a truck). The interplay between the characters is fun until the last minute sting and the sadly predictable pre-seventies ending.

Photographed by Arthur Ibbetson, edited by John Guthridge. Bryan Forbes adapted John Boland's novel but apparently changed the ending, though at the moment I don't know how.

"I'll wash, you dry, old darling."